Back in Melb till Sat!!

Am back in Melb!! Left straight to the airport after my last exam and touched down last nite, and today, woke up early and it's strange... but the weather in Melb seems to be better than Syd today - warm, bright, sunny... Haha! But maybe cause I'm indoors, so it looks like that. Syd's been rainy the past few consecutive days, except the day I left for Melb.

My exam - I think I screwed it up pretty bad... Like I wrote a fair bit, but I was looking at the marks for each question and my answers were no where near 25 marks. I mean, how can you mark an answer for a question worth 20-25 marks? I probably just summarised my answers a lot or my brain probably lacked the ability to deliver all the information and write them coherently. It was another 3-hour paper, and I kinda gave up with having nothing else to put down on paper, so I just left about 10 mins before the exam ended. I didn't really feel relieved, just frustrated... The questions were not actually tough. It was just that there was so much info to study for and so much to regurgitate, and somehow, I just couldn't bring myself to do that. Oh well, I guess it's a wait for the results. I don't expect a credit - I be grateful even if I get a just-pass 50 mark.

The next few days, I'm gonna relax in Melb, chill a bit before I commence my new position as trainer up in Syd. I was looking through work emails and already, the work's being planned out for me. They have high expectations of me and want me to train people to reach this 97% output accuracy... Am quite excited, but I have to also say, honestly, am a little scared of not being able to reach that goal. But yeah, since I'm good at my work, it should hopefully be okay. *cross fingers and praying*

An Exam Moment...

I feel happier today! Thanks for those who have put up with my tedious study pre-exams and the stress I've been suffering all week. I haven't started on the next paper... relaxing a little. But first, today's exam - it wasn't as bad as I thought, like the questions were actually better than the ones on the practice exams. The only few things were: 1) The first question had me in a bit of a confused state because it asked me to name and describe two abnomalities for a particular hearing loss and when I named the two, I couldn't really describe them cause I was getting confused. Try otosclerosis and tympanosclerosis... 2) There was this question whereby I was on a roll and wrote about 2 pages, but I didn't end up reading the second part of the question which was to describe one of each tests only. I kinda listed and described all of them. So wrote more than I should have. Hopefully she doesn't penalise marks... 3) There was this test I couldn't remember the name of... It was actually Halmagyi test, but then I wrote Malagyi. Sounds like a fish name. Haha!! Well, it sounded the same (dun you guys dare laugh)... Anyway, overall, I think I did okay. Finished the exam on time... even earlier than the 3 hours they gave us. Well, I left 20 mins before the 3 hours were up. But 3 hours - my stomach was seriously rumbling by then and I couldn't take it. Imagine sitting for a whole 3 hours straight... watching a movie is kinda okay, but still, you do get a little restless even in a movie for that long... imagine an exam though - the brains would be going, every muscle in your body tensed, your hand exceptionally sore... haha!

Oh, I have to mention a really intriguing thing about the exam. The place where we place our bags is this huge hall in the uni. It's a compulsory thing - they say thiefs operate in the area and no bags are to be taken even to the classroms. So basically everyone goes to this hall, lines up, security gives you a coloured coupon with a number on it, takes your bag, places your bag near the same coloured coupons. Then after the exam, you bring back the coloured coupon and security gets your bag. It's such an ingenious system! You even had to show your student card. Such tight security. AND our bags were looked after by the uni's security! The line was long though, so it was a good thing I went early. But yeah, I was greatly impressed. My housemate was impressed too. We remember Melb uni days where our bags were placed in a shed and after exams, everyone rushed to their bags, climbed on top of each other... Yeah, pretty messy. And no one was really looking after the bags properly either.

One more exam to go on Monday and then I'm back to Melb! I've changed my flights all! So now, am back in Melb from the 23rd, Mon night (arriving Melb at about 8:45pm) and leaving for Syd on 28th, Sun afternoon cause I couldn't get cheaper fares. Excited!! Can't wait to see ya all!

Breaking Down

Today I literally felt at my worst... like really upset... You know, it is so unlike me to break down and get all depressed... but some people have had their moments I guess and today I had mine. I really felt strongly about giving up my studies just today - when often, I soldier on and fight like a warrior in these testing times. Just had so many things on my mind and felt like I could no longer cope with all the stress of working and studying and relationship. The only happy short-lived moments today were wishing my dad a Happy Father's Day in Spore and listening to the sermon on Stress. I mean, I felt good after the sermon, and learnt a fair bit. But somehow later on in the day, after lunching with church mates, I arrived home and started studying - and more so, just thinking about how I am going to pull these exams off basically with the time limit I have. I needed a miracle and a hope... But I guess it was also thoughts that flowed about other issues in my life. And that is when I really broke down - perhaps due to the accumulation of thoughts and emotions over the 6 mths I've been in Syd, whether I made the right decisions and choices in coming up here... whether I'm supposed to just work and not study audiology... whether I'm supposed to do something for ministry/missions in church over here... how I am to better my current LDR... why I am worrying so much that I can't totally trust Him fully... etc etc... That was when I just had to pour out the tears and fully turned to God and said "I don't know what to do anymore. I ache inside and you're the only strength I've got." I actually felt a little better after talking to Him... but yeah, it's tough being away from home where almost all your friends stay so far away and those who are not studying have their families here... you kinda think that if/when you need someone, you can't really walk down a street, knock on their door and ask them out for coffee or a chat or a hug. Yeah, miss those times where everyone was living quite near each other and reachable.
P.S. Note the change in my song on my blog - just a reminder between me and Christ I guess... that hope and everlasting love from Him. And that He's the best remedy for anything and everything, in every time and every place.

Job Response

As most of you know... I recently applied for this c-a-p-t-i-o-n-e-r/speech p-r-o-d-u-c-t-i-o-n trainer position at the company I am currently working for... And hoorah hoorah, yippy yippy aye yay! I got the job! Was expecting the call next week, but nah, they contacted me today - just a few hours ago to let me know. I would say I'm pretty excited but I am also a little bit sad... just cause I know I can cope next year, but the following year, I might have to give up one of the things I love. I think it's pretty tough when you have two things you really love. To tell you guys the truth, I never expected to go any further in my job and up to trainer managerial type position in this company... and I was praying to God a few times, saying how He and I know that my time's up in the company and that there's no where else to go with my job... unfortunately I was wrong and God showed that I could actually get up there with everyone else. I guess it was just self-doubt in thinking that this Asian gal can actually get to that position, you know. So anyway... now my goals have changed. Initially, it was my course that I came up to Sydney... but now, it looks like career prospects too. It's obviously really tough loving both, like I said. And it looks like I'll be in Sydney for quite a while. So yeah, that's my sad moment... like what happens to TY, what happens to my course if I choose to go on with the job... I guess with the course, I can always defer another year. Afterall, I would already be having quite a good career... and like my life is quite stable and I already have quite a few qualifications... so I guess it's not a regret at all, heading up to Syd.

Well, I start my job 3rd July and already, they have a lot of work for me to get through... It's me and this other gal (who has already been a trainer for a very long time - the company transferred her over from the UK) and we'll be managing about 50 people. Can't wait! I think I will see how I go with the new position, see how manageable it is, and then I've got the end of the year to decide if it's for me or not before my official Masters year starts. Hmm.. because I'm starting in this position, I'll need to get new clothes too. Therapy shopping in Melb, here I come! But ah... need money first! Hee!

Interview

Went for the trainer interview yesterday at the company I currently work for, and I think it went quite well. It was a 3-panel interview and they asked me questions like "What you think makes a good trainer?" "What makes a good trainee?" And then they mentioned how much they love me and I most likely will get the job, which of course, was like "Wow, didn't expect that"... But then again, I don't want to get my hopes too high. It'll definitely be a good opportunity especially since there's no weekend work (which means more church duties.. hee! And cell group - here I come!), plus it's a 9-5 kind of job, the usual 4 weeks annual leave and better pay, so it's all good. The only thing is that I have uni, but good news - they are certainly willing to work their schedules around mine!

I have a big dilemma though because I know that next year, it's gonna be rough especially with clinical placements and me wanting to do my clinics overseas too. Also, because I'll be doing more subjects then, I might have to start considering either concentrating on audio-logy or the trainer job. Need to pray for wisdom and direction... Well, I haven't got an official response yet, but they said they'll notify me by next week. In a way, I can't wait to start and am quite excited about what I can offer...

Non-Productive Few Days

It's been 2 days of non-productivity which is pretty bad. Only read through the first lecture of my audiology notes and that was it. After the exam on Thurs, my housemate and I went grocery shopping and then I decided to pamper myself with a facial and back massage. On Fri, I went to work, bright and early in the morn - caught the bus and train to the city office and voiced almost the entire day from 9am till about 5pm. The good thing is that I got a break in between of about half an hour and managed to catch up with one of my colleagues over lunch. Speaking of work, my friend from church here in Syd - J... he applied for a live c-a-p-t-i-o-n-i-n-g position and has an interview next week. Anywayz, on Fri evening after work, I bused back and then grabbed my car and went to pick up my ex-Sydney Uni classmate, J (you'll notice I have lots of friends names starting with J.. hee)... We went to watch Narnia 2: Prince Caspien. It was sooo good. Highly recommended for Christians, and definitely better than the first one. Very inspiring! We initially wanted to watch Sex in the City, but it was all sold out!! Man! Two sessions were sold out! At least Narnia was awesome! But yeah, I'd love to catch Sex in the City someday.

Well, J, my ex Syd Uni friend stayed over at my place on Friday and Sat nite. On Sat particularly, we were supposed to study, but didn't end up doing anything. Instead, we chatted a lot and just transferred music and videos. Hmmm... We tried to study but I think both of us were just too distracting for each other... Haha. And we kept getting interrupted too - like we went out for dinner, went out to get groceries, then she needed me to go get a full-length mirror from her friend's place at about 11pm and by the time we got home and slept, it was about midnight... In fact, we didn't exactly sleep at midnight, cause even though the lights were switched off, we started talking until about 2am... *sigh* Yeah, we kinda had to drag ourselves out of bed this morning at about 8am to head to church. J was supposed to attend her church but then she realised she was gonna be really late so she came to my church instead, and joined my group of friends for lunch after. It was surprising that a lot of my Wesley Church friends remembered her. =)

After lunch, J left quite early, and I just hung around with the rest. I left the city about 5pm and now back at home, but haven't started any study. Nooo!! It's going to be a slow non-productive day again! I need some motivation I think but sooo tired from the past few weeks of assignments and non-sleep. But yes, the rest for 2 days was good while it lasted... and now, I have to really push on I think. * must concentrate *

First Exam After-effects

Bad weather looms on my first exam day... It was raining quite heavily when I left the house and very often, it takes me 10 mins to get to class... but thankfully because I left so much earlier than before, I escaped the horrible traffic near my place and got to uni about 15 mins early.

Today's exam was alright. I don't really know how well I went or how badly I did... I feel a mixture of feelings really... happy cause I tried my best I think and answered whatever could come to my head. There were three short-answer essay questions to pick from six... Was on a roll on the first question and wrote about 2 A4 pages. But then came the 2nd question and my thoughts weren't coherent.. it was all over the place. But I still wrote close to 2 pages. Then the last question, I wrote only half an A4 page cause I ran out of time! Like crap! Had so much more to say!! In fact, I could probably still write a whole lot in Question 2, but no time! We were only given an hour and my hand was already aching by the end of it. It hurt quite bad, like having arthritis or some finger joint problem.

Hmm... I think overall, I did quite okay, but I can't really tell what the marking's gonna be like. I'm just hoping I've aced the previous assignment for this subject... I keep thinking "Crap, I didn't write that in" but it's all over now anywayz.

By the way, I got my presentation and case study report back - the one that I pulled off in a day... and errr... ended up with a D! *gleams*

After the exam... decided to pamper myself especially after those late nighters... so I went for a facial and back massage. Yes, felt quite relaxed after that, but came home and decided to vacuum and do a cleaning spree - which is probably not a very good idea... cause I'm seriously aching right now from head to toe. Owww! At least you still feel my chirpy-ness... all that matters for now. Yes, feeling happy at the moment.. but it may not last for very long cause I have 2 more papers to go and they're real toughies! Today is relaxing day.. just cruising online and sorting out bills - how fun right? But I have a friend staying over tomorrow and she and I are gonna do some power study in the evening... that's after we watch a movie. Thinking of Prince Caspien or Sex in the City. We'll see how we go anyway cause during the day I actually have to go into the city to work. Hopefully the weather dwindles down so I can wear heels... My boots tend to clog a lot...

Good news come when you least expect it

Sometimes good news come with bad... the bad was my terrible terrible assignment. The good news came as an interrupted call while doing the stressful assignment - that I got the interview for a speech c-a-p-t-i-o-n-e-r trainer at my workplace. It will be an awesome job offer to take up. In fact, they are willing to let me work 4 days a week, at odd hours, instead of the full-time requirement of 5 days a week, 9-5, because I have uni. I haven't got the job yet, but the interview is next week and hopefully I get it - it means more pay and more flexible leave hours too which is great. And no more weekends! Hoorah hoorah! Must pray for me on this one cause I am not too sure if it's a contract thing. If it is, I might have to defer my uni course for another year. The good thing is that if I do get this job, I can go further with it... but the question is, do I still wanna work in the media-related field? In actual fact, I don't totally mind... I just like to do other stuff and become more versatile as a person. Hmmm... The bad thing about media jobs is that you don't always see old people in it as much, so it may not be a job you can work in till you're like 50s for a female. Yeah, it can be pretty stereotypical. Hmmm... Thoughts, thoughts... Yet another big decision to make.

Stressed!

Just handed in an assignment at 5pm... It was a report and well, it was due at 5pm, and it took so long to load my assignment - at least 15 mins to upload... So when it was finally handed in, it was 5:15pm. I was scared about incurring a late penalty submission so I emailed my lecturer anyway. Not that that will help my score in that assignment cause I seriously think it was done crappily. Like for starters, the tables took so long to calculate and draw up and then to insert it into Word that I nearly gave up. This was done the whole of yesterday. And last night, I was writing up the report with hardly any sleep - did a sleep for about only 4 hours. Had one nap from 5-7am and then from 8-10am. It felt like me doing a thesis all over again. The only difference is that with a thesis, you come up with the research topic... this report was killing me cause I didn't really understand it. And I can't believe it is only worth 10% - so not worth that mark. I'm thinking I flunked it though cause I didn't formulate any hypotheses, or rather, my hypotheses were really obvious, and then I got lazy towards the results section and said "as you can see below, this was.... (blah blah...)" So practically describing it without really comparing or explaining. And now upset that I couldn't get more time to do it. Not that I didn't plan out my schedule properly. It was more that I had so many assignments and so little time. And now I have an exam on Thursday which I haven't studied for yet. Hopefully I make up for marks in the exams... Am just suffering pre-exam blues at the moment, and post-assignment traumatic stress.